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| An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates.
St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're
an engineer -- you're in the wrong place."
So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is
let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied
with the level of comfort in hell, and starts
designing and building improvements. After
awhile, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets
and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular
guy.
One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and
says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there
in hell?"
Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great.
We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and
escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer
is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer?
That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten
down there; send him up here."
Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer
on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah,
right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?" | | |
| one day, ah beng and ah cheng decided to go hunting in the woods. they picked their best tools and off they go.
half way hunting, ah cheng felt a pain in his chest suddenly collapsed. frantically, ah beng try to wake his fren up by slapping him...since he doesn't have any experience in first-aid techniques. he did everything he could to help his fren, lifting his legs, beat his chest, tickling him...!!!.... 
then, he saw his mobile phone. quickly, he dial the emergency number. he waited for a few moments, then a lady operator at the other end of the line answered his call...
"Hello, 999, how may i help u?", answered the lady operator
"Help! my fren suddenly shooting ah, he fall down woh. diden come up! i see he maybe pengsan...!!!", replied ah beng
"err, ok. first, lets make sure that he's dead", replied hte lady operator
ah beng went off for a moment, then, "BOOM!!!" the lady operator was wondering wat happen.
after a few moment, ah beng returned to his call, and replied to the lady operator...
"ok, now how ah?"
"......", lady operator | | |
| person : ANNIE BUDDY, ANNIE WAN, NOE
WAN, SUM BUDDY ?
Lee Sum Wan : Hello can i speak to Annie
Wan
Mr Sori : Yes u could speak to me.
Lee Sum Wan : No, i want to speak to Annie
Wan!
Mr Sori : You are talking to someone! Who is
this?
Lee Sum Wan : Im Sum Wan. And i need to
talk to Annie Wan! Its urgent.
Mr Sori : I know u are someone and u want to
talk to anyone! But whats this
urgent matter about?
Lee Sum Wan : Well just tell my sister Annie
Wan that our brother was involved in an
accident. Noe Wan got injured and now
Noe wan is being sent to the hospital. Right
now Avery Wan is going to the hospital.
Mr Sori : Look if no one was injured and no
one was sent to the hospital from the
accident that is'nt an urgent matter!
You may find this hilarious but i dont have
time for this!!!
Lee Sum Wan : You are rude. Who are you?
Mr Sori : Im Sori.
Lee Sum Wan : You should be sorry. Now
give me your name!
Mr Sori : Im Sori!!
Lee Sum Wan : I dont like your tone of voice
Mr and i dont care, give me your name!
Mr Sori : Look lady, I told you already Im Sori!
Im Sori!! Im SORI!!! you didnt even give me
your name!
Lee Sum Wan : I told u before i'm Sum Wan!
Sum Wan!!! You better be careful my father
is Sum Buddy. And my uncle holds a very big
position i! n the company. He is Noe Buddy.
Mr Sori : Oh i'm so scared(sarcastically).
Look i dont care about yr uncle he's a
nobody. Everybody thinks his top dog
and holding an important position in the
company.
Lee Sum Wan : No, Avery Buddy just married
my aunt. And Avery Buddy doesn't
work there.
Mr Sori : Like i said i dont care which one of
yr aunt screws everybody and i also know
that not everybody works here! Jeez!!!
Lee Sum Wan : Wheech Wan is my sis!
Mr. Sori : I don't know which one is yr sis!
Why in gods name u think i do!? Look i got
work to do and if i'm feeling mischievious i'll
broadcast it on the P.A system saying.
"Attention, someone called and said that
anyones brother just got involved in an
accident. But not to worry no one go! t injured
and no one was sent to the hospital. But
everyone is going to the hospital anyways.
The father maybe a somebody but if u're their
uncle, u're a nobody. "how bout that!?
Toot....Toot....Toot................. | | |
| This was developed as an age test by an R&D department at Harvard University.
Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 40 years of age can't do it!
1. This is this cat
2. This is is cat
3. This is how cat
4. This is to cat
5. This is keep cat
6. This is an cat
7. This is old cat
8. This is person cat
9. This is busy cat
10. This is for cat
11. This is forty cat
12. This is seconds cat
Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down. | | |
| You'll know you're living in 2006 when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
7. You make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "9" to get an outside line.
8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news.
11. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.
12. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.
13. Every commercial on television has a website at the bottom of the screen.
14. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
15. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
16. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. 
17. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
18. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
19. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
20. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list
AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself. | | |
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